Thirty Days on Retreat With the Spiritual Exercises by Paul Mariana

Today, Black Friday, was spent (mainly) indoors, sitting at my favorite reading chair, curled up with some new friends (books). Much of the day I had by myself, so there was solitude and silence.

I had decided to read: Thirty Days on Retreat With the Exercises of St. Ignatius by Paul Mariani.

It was a delightful time... a moving time... a wistful time...

I would recommend this short book as a good read for anyone who would like to have a view of what a 30 day retreat is like for one who does the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius.

For me, it was especially moving, I think for several reasons.

One, I went to seminary on the North Shore of Boston and was familiar with much of the area that he described. The Jesuit Retreat Center he was at was Gonzaga Retreat House near Gloucester. Many old, good memories were stirred as I read this book.

Two, I have done the Spiritual Exercises, only in the form of the 19th Annotated Retreat, but still, am very familiar with them. It was a treat to listen in to the daily journey and experience of one Making the Exercises. My own experiences were woven in to the story as he described his time.

Three, I have read other Memoirs of those who have done the Exercises and told the their story. It is a genre of reading that is rich and spiritually formative, and more so with each memoir read.

As I finished with the last pages of his story, I had a sense of sadness and longing... one which he expressed in these words:

And did we not brush up against some Mystery together here? Did we not speak here as the angels speak, in a language beyond words? Did we not hear God singing to us? What can compare to that, really? We walked about talking and exchanging addresses, and the room with laughter. A laughter laced perhaps with sadness, knowing the this time will not come again...

How I shall miss the stately presence of my fellow pilgrims here. Already they're scattering to the wind, some to catch trains and planes, others in cars, ready to move on to whatever lies ahead. It all changes, doesn't it? Like the sea that keep crashing in, as it will when other pilgrims replace us, and others in time replace them...

So I knew I had been with a writer who managed to create a bond of fellowship between us . . . he my author and I his reader. And I felt the same sadness with the goodbyes... and a longing for more.

I felt a little like I did with the ending of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, when I first read it in 8th grade. I cried when it was over. It could not be over. The Fellowship had to endure forever...

And later, years later, I slowly came to know that the Fellowship does endure. It stretches down through time, pilgrim after pilgrim, traveler following traveler, a Hall of Fame growing, a Cloud of Witnesses expanding. And one day I too will join them across the ocean.

Until then, there is much love, much learning, much service, much joyful obedience and a dark valley that is ours to experience.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com