This is a longer reflection/essay about the place and purpose of Gratitude in the Daily Examen. I begin with a little reflection about the importance of gratitude in my life. Then I talk about gratitude in the Examen, followed with practical guidance on how to practice gratitude.
The Text: (#43)
Ignatius simply says, "The first point is to give thanks to God our Lord for the favors received."
In Spanish, the word translated "favors" is "beneficios." I am reminded of the Psalm, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits---" (Psalm 103:2
One of My Core Values is Gratitude:
This was not always so for me. About the time I turned 40 (13 years ago), for the first time, I developed a Core Values list. This was a great process for me. It was a time of self-discovery, out of which came a significant tool to remind me of what I most deeply valued. My Core Values became a guiding "document" for how I would live and serve.
Three years ago, I felt it was time for a revisioning of that Core Values document. Life had changed. I had changed. My ministry had changed... and it seemed appropriate to re-visit this guiding ethos and discern if change was needed in it as well. This too was a spiritually rich process. Most of the original ethos remained unchanged, but two items were dropped, two new ones were added and several of the others rewritten to better express who I was becoming.
One of the new values that was added was the Value of Gratitude.
Perhaps I added this because I knew my personality bent is "the glass is half empty." I am, using the old word from the Greeks, a melancholy by temperament. I see the pain and brokenness of our fallen world, easily. I can quickly become sad and pessimistic in the face of that brokenness.
Perhaps it was because I know my tendencies toward perfectionism. I am rarely satisfied with what I do or accomplish, always believing it can be better. So the restless energy of dissatisfaction is a frequent companion in my life.
Perhaps it was because I have similar high standards and expectations for those around me. I also value things like excellence, hard work, energetic commitment, results, fruitfulness and success. To use the good word, I am passionate about the Kingdom of God. To use the "not so good word," I can be driven about it as well. And when things are not up to my standards or expectations, I can be critical and negative.
Perhaps it is because my own dark side can deteriorate into narcissistic self-absorption with pity and complaining when things are not going my way.
Probably it is all of this and more. I certainly resonate with these words from Dostoyevsky.
If he is not stupid, he is monstrously ungrateful. Phenomenally ungrateful. In fact, I believe the best definition of man is the ungrateful biped.
(Note: I have collected several quotes about gratitude and have included them at the end of this reflection.)
So when I redid my Core Values, I was acutely aware that gratitude and thankfulness, rejoicing and celebration were not a consistent part of my daily experience. And they needed to be my daily experience. So, I uploaded Gratitude into my revised values, knowing this one was only aspirational and not actual, and that a lot of spiritual work was going to be needed for it to become actual and real.
The Daily Examen:
In the Daily Examen, gratitude has a place of prominence. The spiritual practice of the Examen is theologically rooted in a belief that God is the loving God who above all else, freely gives Himself to us along with all other good things. This idea emerges out of passages like:
He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will be not also along with Him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights... (James 1:17).
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)
The reality of a Good, Generous, Gracious God, who freely and abundantly Gives -- is the theological grounding for the experience and practice of Gratitude. (Sorry, I just could not resist a little alliteration.)
To know we are deeply, unconditionally loved and blessed by such a God, and then to live with gratitude, this is not merely a supplemental idea for Ignatius, it is at the heart of the Ignatian Way and the Daily Examen.
From time to time, when I am talking about sin to a group of people, I will ask the question:
Is there a sin that is more fundamental, more foundational, more "original" than the others? Is there a sin from which the others seem to flow? This almost always generates some intense and intriguing conversation. Ignatius would offer these words as his contribution to that discussion:
Ingratitude is one of the things most worthy of detestation before our Creator and Lord... out of all the evils and sins which can be imagined. For it is a failure to recognize the good things, the graces, and the gifts received. As such, it is the cause, beginning, and origin of ALL evils and sins. (Ignatius letter to Simon Rodriguez, March 18, 1542, quoted in The Examen Prayer, page 59.)
Some Recommended Ways to Practice Gratitude in your Daily Examen:
It is time to move to some practical guidance for how to incorporate gratitude as part of your Daily Examen. These are not rules, just "helps" or "guides" for you to work with. You may come up with some of your own preferred ways of engaging in this part of the Examen.
(1) The simplest way to do this is to walk back through your day, consciously aware that all good things you had and received and experienced were the gift of God to you. As you note each one, practice gratitude, feel grateful, say thank-you.
(2) Sometimes I will focus on a particular part of a day that seems to be especially meaningful for me, and I linger on that experience and sit gratefully with it.
(3) A more advanced and challenging practice is to recall the difficulties, struggles, and even the sufferings of the day, and see even these as the occasion for gratitude. Admittedly, this is a "tricky" path to navigate, but an important one for us. It is harder for North Americans because we live in a pleasure seeking, comfort obsessed culture and it is hard for us to experience struggle and difficulty and not complain about it.
To help you think through this issue, you may want to reflect on an extreme case of suffering and the person's attitude toward it, by looking at Job's initial response to his sufferings in Job 1:20-22; 2:9-10. You may also want to look at Acts 5:40-41 where the apostles rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer for Christ. Plus, Henri Nouwen's little book - The Wounded Healer gives some wonderful perspective as to the nature of our sufferings.
(4) Sometimes in an Examen, I will focus on a particular issue or theme or situation, and consider it more broadly than the day's actual experience. For example, if I had a conversation with a friend and I am grateful for that conversation, I may expand my reflection to that friendship in general and be grateful in a broader sense. I may expand that to being grateful for many friends, even if I had no specific encounter with those people during the day.
The other day, in my Examen, I was very grateful for a ministry opportunity that I had. That specific experience became the stepping stone for me to reflect on a number of other recent opportunities and I felt gratitude for all of them, gratitude for being called by God, grateful for my vocation. It was very powerful. In addition, that expanded realm of gratitude launched a reflection later as I was reflecting on the leading of God and moved into a time of discernment concerning some future opportunities.
(5) There are some times when my gratitude is launched out of a reflection on a biblical theme. This fall I have been teaching the letter to the Ephesians. I had a very moving time of gratitude as I reflected on "the every spiritual blessings" I/we have received from God through Christ (Ephesians 1:3). I slowly read through the following verses (3-14) which lists some of those spiritual blessings. As I thought about each one, I practiced gratitude.
This is a very useful way to move into a time of gratitude. I will sometimes pause for gratitude when I read and reflect on a characteristic of God, or about the work of God in the world and in my life. Our reflections on Scripture should often initiate the experience of gratitude.
(6) Here is one more that is not exactly associated with the Daily Examen, but which can be done as a separate spiritual exercise. Perhaps you have heard of a Whole Life Confession. This is an exercise in which the individual "walks" through their entire history, paying attention to the sin dynamics that were at work through the years. You are specific in naming sins and sin eruptions in your life. This is for the purpose of sorrow, confession and repentance... and for moving deeper into forgiveness and freedom about your past. There is much more I could say about that practice, but this is not the place.
However, I use that same model and to a Whole Life Gratitude, which is doing the same thing, but identifying every gift, every blessing, every grace you have received through life. It is a wonderful spiritual exercise and it helps you Find God and His gifts in a sweeping survey of your life. It really gives you a new perspective and orientation about God's presence and work in your life.
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Remember, the movement of Gratitude is just one part of the Daily Examen. On most days, I make my through the entire Examen... but not always. There are times when I mainly practice this part of the Examen.
For the week ahead, I recommend that you simply practice this part of the Examen. Practice gratitude. Practice looking back through your day to discover the presence, the work and the gifts of God, and to be thankful for each one.
Next week I will talk about: Desire and Asking for what you Desire.
Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com
Here are the quotes:
All goods look better when they look like gifts. Chesterton, Saint Francis of Assisi
Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone? Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. William Arthur Ward
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but parent of all the others. Cicero
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank-you,” that would suffice. Meister Eckhart, German mystic
Sometimes the most grateful pilgrim is the one whose road has been the rockiest. James Martin
If he is not stupid, he is monstrously ungrateful. Phenomenally ungrateful. In fact, I believe the best definition of man is the ungrateful biped. Dostoevsky
One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong is worth a thousand thanks when things go right. John of the Cross
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