This is the third step in the Daily Examen as I am presenting it to you. For Ignatius, it is the second step. With this step, we run into a tension. The tension is how to interpret the Examen when Ignatius talks about sin. What does Ignatius mean and how should we practice the Examen?
I'll spend a few minutes talking about this issue. The second half of the post will be on suggestions to practice this part of the Examen.
This tension is easily seen by comparing Ignatius' words and the re-wording offered by Timothy Gallagher in The Examen Prayer (pp. 25).
The Ignatian Text (#43, paragraph 2)
The second point is to ask for grace to know my sins and to rid myself of them.
Gallagher's Suggested Revision
I ask God for an insight and a strength that will make this examen a work of grace, fruitful beyond my human capacity alone.
Ignatius wants us to have grace so we may discern our sins and be rid of them.
Gallagher omits any reference to sin. The closest he gets to naming sin is later when he describes this part of the Examen wanting to know "all that hinders our freedom for growth in our relationship with God" (which is a legitimate, but very nuanced way of talking about sin).
Here is the issue in brief.
Ignatius actually called the Daily Examen... Method of Making the General Examination of Conscience. Many of the Jesuit spiritual directors believe this wording (as we understand it today) turns the Examen into a moralistic exercise that is concerned with good and evil, what is right and wrong... and what Ignatius really meant was an examination of one's consciousness. In other words, a more general awareness of one's interior world and the presence of God at work in that interior world.
These authors believe the idea of sin is not as useful today, easily misunderstood and capable of legalistic, morally simplistic tendencies. Gallagher (apparently) is one who believes like this. For he reframes this part of the Examen in a "milder, softer, gentler" way.
I think it is helpful to remember the CONTEXT in which the Examen is offered by Ignatius. From Notes #24 - #90, Ignatius talks of sin (First Week), using the strong biblical language to describe it. Ignatius wanted retreatants to clearly see their sin and see their need for God's grace to overcome that sin. The instruction on doing a Daily Examen is Note #43 and it is hard to avoid the fact that for Ignatius, the awareness of sin is significant.
It is possible to simply say that Ignatius lived during a more primitive time when misunderstandings about human psychology were normal. That Ignatius had a worldview that almost mandated his views of sin. And that today we have a healthier and more accurate understanding of the human person.
it is also possible to say that Ignatius had a more robust biblical worldview and that some more modern interpreters are influenced by an alternative worldview.
So - what to do?
Follow the literal guidance of Ignatius?
Or to go with the reframing of his guidance?
We will see this same issue come up later in the Examen.
Ultimately, you will have to choose, but I'll give you a brief explanation of how to do it either way.
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Suggestions for Practicing This Part of the Examen
First, using the literal guidance of Ignatius (which I usually do), I use his exact language and prayerfully ask God for grace to know my sins. I do this because the heart (and my heart) is deceitful, confused, capable of great darkness, quick to justify, blame-shift and rationalize... and my heart will naturally do this. So I need grace to know I am loved, forgiven and secure in God so I may have the courage and will to name my sin and not excuse it, not minimize it, nor hide from it.
I listen, reflect and consider what comes to mind. If there are strong, negative emotions that I have experienced during the day, they usually come to mind quickly. Those emotional experiences are likely to have a "dark side" component and if that is there, sin is usually involved.
Yesterday, I was aware that I had some irritation that was like a constant low-grade fever. It was not overwhelming, but it was persistent and I was aware of it all day. As I moved through this part of the Examen, I immediately sat with this experience and asked God to show me what was going on in my irritation. I moved into a fruitful examination of that irritation, understood the external circumstances that were the occasion of this irritation AND the inner weakness and darkness of my own heart on this matter.
Then I asked for the grace to be free, not just from the irritation, but from the underlying source of that irritation. I asked for the needed grace to respond with trust and joy in the face of that irritation producing external situation as well as the inner sin that interacted with it..
This very process brought an immediate relief to my soul and it was easier to draw near to God in the time that followed. The low-grade fever of irritation has been removed. Now that I am in a greater experience of freedom, I ask for the grace to notice the Presence, Work and Word of God that was with me throughout my day.
This is my desire. To notice God, to attend to God, to be with God in love, worship and obedience. How I ask this, or how I name my desire will vary from day to day.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Psalm 73:25)
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek . . . (Psalm 27:4)
I will often keep in mind the question Jesus asked of Bartimaeus.
What do you want me to do for you? (Mark 10:51)
I consider what I want and then I ask that of Jesus.
For my Evangelical Theology and Spirituality, this is a very grace-filled way to notice and deal with the sins of one's day and to then be ready to notice and seek God.
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Second, using Gallagher's revised approach. I would simply start out, prayerfully asking God for the grace to be able to see what he wants me to see about my day.
William Barry reminds us that desire is what is most important. You do not have to have theological sophistication or advanced skills in spirituality to know what you desire. Get in touch with desire and name that desire to God.
I like to go a bit further than this. I ask God that I will desire what he desires, want what he wants... that my longings would be holy longings.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I do this because C.S. Lewis believes our desires are too weak. They are too earthbound. Too limited. Our desires need lifted up with the "weight of glory." Our desires need strong substance infused in to them from God. So I ask God to renew my desires... to make me a man after his heart.
I ask God to give me a deeper, clearer understanding about His Presence, Work, and Word. Show me His Will and His Way.
I ask for enlightenment and for eyes to see and ears to hear.
I ask for illumination and strength. And then I am ready for the next MAJOR part of the Examen.
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You have already been working on:
the First Step - Awareness and Centering
the Second Step - Gratitude.
Now you should add:
the Third Step - Prayer Desire for Grace / Prayer Desire for Grace to Know My Sin and be Free
Continue to practice your Examen a few times this week doing all three steps.
Next week will be the CENTRAL part of the Examen. It is the most involved and it is the part of the Examen that requires the most time.
Tomorrow I have a short "bonus" post on another very good edition of the Spiritual Exercises.
Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com
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