The Daily Examen, Part Six: Asking Forgiveness

Ignatius says it very simply:

"The fourth point will be to ask pardon of God our Lord for my faults." (#43, 4)

The Daily Examen, if it has been rightly practiced, has led you into awareness and discernment of the Presence and Work of God in your life, as well as your inner responses to God.

The Examen has enabled us to see our inadequacies, the wrong things we have done, the good things we have left undone. We are aware of our inner "disorders" and our "inordinate attachments." The Scriptures and the Exercises name all this as sin. We experience sorrow about our sin and also longing for God to be with us.

The natural response to this awareness of disorder is to ask forgiveness and to receive healing from the God who loves us.

We ask for forgiveness with great expectation, for we ask forgiveness of the Prodigal (lavish) God who loves and longs for us, who accepts and pardons us, who heals and restores us. (Luke 15:11-32)

We ask forgiveness of a Gracious God who has instructed us to forgive others 77 times (or 70 x 7 times). The God who counsels us to forgive in this way, does so, because He forgives us in this way. (Matthew 18:21-22).

We ask forgiveness of the Christ who prayed, "Father forgive them for they do not know what they do" as He hung on the cross for our sins. (Luke 23:34)

So we ask with full expectancy of receiving forgiveness, freedom and healing.

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Your Daily Examen is almost over, just one more final part to this.

This week, practice the Examen several times, going through all the parts that have been described for you.

Pay attention to your experience of God as you do this.

Blessings and joy,

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Thirty Days on Retreat With the Spiritual Exercises by Paul Mariana

Today, Black Friday, was spent (mainly) indoors, sitting at my favorite reading chair, curled up with some new friends (books). Much of the day I had by myself, so there was solitude and silence.

I had decided to read: Thirty Days on Retreat With the Exercises of St. Ignatius by Paul Mariani.

It was a delightful time... a moving time... a wistful time...

I would recommend this short book as a good read for anyone who would like to have a view of what a 30 day retreat is like for one who does the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius.

For me, it was especially moving, I think for several reasons.

One, I went to seminary on the North Shore of Boston and was familiar with much of the area that he described. The Jesuit Retreat Center he was at was Gonzaga Retreat House near Gloucester. Many old, good memories were stirred as I read this book.

Two, I have done the Spiritual Exercises, only in the form of the 19th Annotated Retreat, but still, am very familiar with them. It was a treat to listen in to the daily journey and experience of one Making the Exercises. My own experiences were woven in to the story as he described his time.

Three, I have read other Memoirs of those who have done the Exercises and told the their story. It is a genre of reading that is rich and spiritually formative, and more so with each memoir read.

As I finished with the last pages of his story, I had a sense of sadness and longing... one which he expressed in these words:

And did we not brush up against some Mystery together here? Did we not speak here as the angels speak, in a language beyond words? Did we not hear God singing to us? What can compare to that, really? We walked about talking and exchanging addresses, and the room with laughter. A laughter laced perhaps with sadness, knowing the this time will not come again...

How I shall miss the stately presence of my fellow pilgrims here. Already they're scattering to the wind, some to catch trains and planes, others in cars, ready to move on to whatever lies ahead. It all changes, doesn't it? Like the sea that keep crashing in, as it will when other pilgrims replace us, and others in time replace them...

So I knew I had been with a writer who managed to create a bond of fellowship between us . . . he my author and I his reader. And I felt the same sadness with the goodbyes... and a longing for more.

I felt a little like I did with the ending of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, when I first read it in 8th grade. I cried when it was over. It could not be over. The Fellowship had to endure forever...

And later, years later, I slowly came to know that the Fellowship does endure. It stretches down through time, pilgrim after pilgrim, traveler following traveler, a Hall of Fame growing, a Cloud of Witnesses expanding. And one day I too will join them across the ocean.

Until then, there is much love, much learning, much service, much joyful obedience and a dark valley that is ours to experience.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

The Daily Examen, Part Five: Review of the Day

Finding God is All Things was a core theme for Ignatius. His belief was that God is always at work and to be found in the events and experiences of the day (John 5:17).

God is at work in our day and in its events as well. Our experience is that for most of us most of the time, we are too busy, our environment is too noisy and we are distracted. Silence is scarce. Focus is difficult. Awareness and discernment are at a premium.

So . . . instead of finding God in all things, we miss His Work and His Presence. We therefore the opportunity for constant course correction to be aligned with His Work.

Enter the Daily Examen...

For Ignatius, the Daily Examen was a way to find God, to pay attention to HIs activity and then to keep in step with the leading of God's Spirit (Galatians 5:25). To be sure, Ignatius had many additional tools to offer those wishing to grow in their ability to discern God's leading, but the Examen is at the heart of his way.

I have been a practitioner of the Examen for many years. This sustained practice eventually led me into another experience. As time (the years) went by and my skills in awareness and discernment grew, I began to experience what Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection called - The Practice of the Presence of God.

I no longer had to wait until the end of the day Examen to discover God's Presence and Work, I began to notice it "in the moment." I was able to make course adjustments "on the spot" due to that awareness. However, I still do the Examen and find it a valuable spiritual pathway.

The part of the Examen I am describing today is what is known as the review of the day and it is at the heart of the Examen.

When I first began to do the Examen in 1999 (and I was in very rough spiritual shape) I would do it late at night. I would get out my journal and begin to make a list of all that had happened to me that day. Events, situations, encounters, conversations, activities, AND my inner emotional engagements with all those things. Sometimes I had a list of 35 or 30 "items" on my list.

Then I would begin to reflect on many of those items, walking through them in sequence. I would think through what happened, how did I respond, how did I feel, why did I feel that. I was using the events of the day to go deep below the water line of my life. As I did this day after day, as you can guess, I began to notice patterns of interior issues. At that time, there was a lot of darkness. My inner world was messy and mysterious and frankly - confusing. It took a lot of time to sort it out. But the Examen was the tool by which that exploration took place.

NOTE: I wish I were an artist and could illustrate my day, that would be beautiful. I had to be satisfied with writing about it.)

Today, now about ten years later, I no longer write down that many experiences of a particular day. I am now more selective and usually can list, with just a little thought, the more significant things I should pay attention to.

Here is the list I made last night of some important events of my day (Thursday). [Note - I wrote this post Friday morning and set it to publish on Sunday.]

(1) My Spiritual Friendship group, which was a simply profound time of three of us engaging in this spiritual discipline. God showed up, insights were beautiful, God's work was wonderful. Lots of details and things to follow up on (and in my journal I did just that).

(2) A strategic meeting with a global worker about future partnerships. (God - what are you inviting us into?) We need discernment.

(3) A long email which took me about an hour to compose and rewrite, and edit. It was about an extremely important partnership and it had loads of implications. I didn't send it. I felt I should sit on it longer. That night I processed - what is going on?

(4) Working on a proposal for another leader about an opportunity. (great stuff... again, how are you leading in this?)

(5) A phone conversation with a person who is hurting.

(6) A few hours of being with a good number of people who are a part of a mid-size community which I lead. As a community, we volunteered to do a lot of the work in preparing and serving a Thanksgiving Dinner for an inner city sister church. Wow... lots of smaller experiences during that time. What was I feeling? What was going on?

(7) A few minutes with the Leading Edge team and its trainers and participants. I had strong feelings of consolation and joy as I was with them.

(8) And then to finish the day, two hours with an extraordinary group of missional leaders who have gathered for a conference... hearing three plenary sessions.

This is what I wrote down in my journal. Then I began to reflect, pray and explore these experiences and their meaning... and above all - where is God and what is He up to in and through these experiences.

In the moment I was also paying attention to God's work, but at the end of the day, in my Examen, I had more focused time to attend to these things and to wonder about the patterns weaving through them. I found some things that I did not see "in the moments" as they were happening.

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For many years, the Examen was the primary pathway for me to discover and move further in to God's Presence and Work.

Now, it is an Enhancement pathway. I do not practice it with the frequency I once did. In part, that is due to the fact that much of my day is a living Examen.

Still, I find it useful (often) to do a more focused end of day Examen. Sometimes I will do an end of week Examen.

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For this week, I recommend that you mainly practice this review. Do a very brief walk through of the previous parts of the Examen... enough to become centered and ready, but give this part the majority of your time. I recommend that you journal this process. Journaling is not required, but it sure is helpful for focused attention. Writing both focuses the attention and it slows the thinking. It creates space for the Spirit of God to imprint your mind and heart.

Write down ten or twenty or as many as is useful items from your day.

After you have your list, look them over and do an initial selection of which ones seem most important and most worthy of reflection.

Now, start to reflect. I use a set of questions to launch this reflection. Use these questions, or ones similar.

God what were you doing as this ____________ was taking place?

God what were you saying to me about __________ but I missed it in the moment?

God what did you want me to do about _________ but I missed it in the moment?

God what do you want me to see and hear now about ________________ ?

God what do you want me to learn and to do about ____________ ?

These questions are not always directly and obviously answered. On the other hand, you will be pleasantly surprised at the spiritual insights you begin to discover as you ask them.

Ask... listen.. reflect... write... pray... wait... and continue to move in and out of those things.

Grace and Discernment...

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Another Edition of the Spiritual Exercises

One of the early posts I did on this site was a short discussion about some of the versions of the Spiritual Exercises that are available for your use.

To check out that post on the Text of the Spiritual Exercises, click here.

Since that time, I have become aware of another very fine version which I highly recommend. It has the title:

Draw Me Into Your Friendship: The Spiritual Exercises: A Literal Translation and a Contemporary Reading by David L. Fleming, S.J.

Fleming is an outstanding Jesuit scholar and spiritual director.

His book is unique in that it has a literal translation of the Exercises on the left page and on the right is his contemporary "reading" or paraphrase + commentary. So you can read what Ignatius said 500 years ago and you can read an up to date version. It some ways, it reminds me of Eugene Peterson's paraphrase of the Bible - The Message.

If you go to Amazon, you will find they do not have it available, so they list sellers who are asking a ridiculous price for used books. (Especially in light of the fact on the next line.)

Instead, go to this page on the Institute of Jesuit Sources site.

This should take you to the page called Series IV. If you are not on the page, just click on Series IV which is on the left hand column and it will bring it up. Most of the way down the first page of resources in that section, you will find the book available for $22.95. This is a fourth printing, so I imagine when second hand sellers realize a new printing is available, they may drop the price.

If you are serious about the Exercises, this one is worth having.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

The Daily Examen, Part Four - Petition and Asking for What You Desire

This is the third step in the Daily Examen as I am presenting it to you. For Ignatius, it is the second step. With this step, we run into a tension. The tension is how to interpret the Examen when Ignatius talks about sin. What does Ignatius mean and how should we practice the Examen?

I'll spend a few minutes talking about this issue. The second half of the post will be on suggestions to practice this part of the Examen.

This tension is easily seen by comparing Ignatius' words and the re-wording offered by Timothy Gallagher in The Examen Prayer (pp. 25).

The Ignatian Text (#43, paragraph 2)
The second point is to ask for grace to know my sins and to rid myself of them.

Gallagher's Suggested Revision
I ask God for an insight and a strength that will make this examen a work of grace, fruitful beyond my human capacity alone.

Ignatius wants us to have grace so we may discern our sins and be rid of them.

Gallagher omits any reference to sin. The closest he gets to naming sin is later when he describes this part of the Examen wanting to know "all that hinders our freedom for growth in our relationship with God" (which is a legitimate, but very nuanced way of talking about sin).

Here is the issue in brief.

Ignatius actually called the Daily Examen... Method of Making the General Examination of Conscience. Many of the Jesuit spiritual directors believe this wording (as we understand it today) turns the Examen into a moralistic exercise that is concerned with good and evil, what is right and wrong... and what Ignatius really meant was an examination of one's consciousness. In other words, a more general awareness of one's interior world and the presence of God at work in that interior world.

These authors believe the idea of sin is not as useful today, easily misunderstood and capable of legalistic, morally simplistic tendencies. Gallagher (apparently) is one who believes like this. For he reframes this part of the Examen in a "milder, softer, gentler" way.

I think it is helpful to remember the CONTEXT in which the Examen is offered by Ignatius. From Notes #24 - #90, Ignatius talks of sin (First Week), using the strong biblical language to describe it. Ignatius wanted retreatants to clearly see their sin and see their need for God's grace to overcome that sin. The instruction on doing a Daily Examen is Note #43 and it is hard to avoid the fact that for Ignatius, the awareness of sin is significant.

It is possible to simply say that Ignatius lived during a more primitive time when misunderstandings about human psychology were normal. That Ignatius had a worldview that almost mandated his views of sin. And that today we have a healthier and more accurate understanding of the human person.

it is also possible to say that Ignatius had a more robust biblical worldview and that some more modern interpreters are influenced by an alternative worldview.

So - what to do?
Follow the literal guidance of Ignatius?
Or to go with the reframing of his guidance?
We will see this same issue come up later in the Examen.
Ultimately, you will have to choose, but I'll give you a brief explanation of how to do it either way.

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Suggestions for Practicing This Part of the Examen

First, using the literal guidance of Ignatius (which I usually do), I use his exact language and prayerfully ask God for grace to know my sins. I do this because the heart (and my heart) is deceitful, confused, capable of great darkness, quick to justify, blame-shift and rationalize... and my heart will naturally do this. So I need grace to know I am loved, forgiven and secure in God so I may have the courage and will to name my sin and not excuse it, not minimize it, nor hide from it.

I listen, reflect and consider what comes to mind. If there are strong, negative emotions that I have experienced during the day, they usually come to mind quickly. Those emotional experiences are likely to have a "dark side" component and if that is there, sin is usually involved.

Yesterday, I was aware that I had some irritation that was like a constant low-grade fever. It was not overwhelming, but it was persistent and I was aware of it all day. As I moved through this part of the Examen, I immediately sat with this experience and asked God to show me what was going on in my irritation. I moved into a fruitful examination of that irritation, understood the external circumstances that were the occasion of this irritation AND the inner weakness and darkness of my own heart on this matter.

Then I asked for the grace to be free, not just from the irritation, but from the underlying source of that irritation. I asked for the needed grace to respond with trust and joy in the face of that irritation producing external situation as well as the inner sin that interacted with it..

This very process brought an immediate relief to my soul and it was easier to draw near to God in the time that followed. The low-grade fever of irritation has been removed. Now that I am in a greater experience of freedom, I ask for the grace to notice the Presence, Work and Word of God that was with me throughout my day.

This is my desire. To notice God, to attend to God, to be with God in love, worship and obedience. How I ask this, or how I name my desire will vary from day to day.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Psalm 73:25)

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek . . . (Psalm 27:4)

I will often keep in mind the question Jesus asked of Bartimaeus.

What do you want me to do for you? (Mark 10:51)

I consider what I want and then I ask that of Jesus.

For my Evangelical Theology and Spirituality, this is a very grace-filled way to notice and deal with the sins of one's day and to then be ready to notice and seek God.

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Second, using Gallagher's revised approach. I would simply start out, prayerfully asking God for the grace to be able to see what he wants me to see about my day.

William Barry reminds us that desire is what is most important. You do not have to have theological sophistication or advanced skills in spirituality to know what you desire. Get in touch with desire and name that desire to God.

I like to go a bit further than this. I ask God that I will desire what he desires, want what he wants... that my longings would be holy longings.

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

I do this because C.S. Lewis believes our desires are too weak. They are too earthbound. Too limited. Our desires need lifted up with the "weight of glory." Our desires need strong substance infused in to them from God. So I ask God to renew my desires... to make me a man after his heart.

I ask God to give me a deeper, clearer understanding about His Presence, Work, and Word. Show me His Will and His Way.

I ask for enlightenment and for eyes to see and ears to hear.

I ask for illumination and strength. And then I am ready for the next MAJOR part of the Examen.

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You have already been working on:

the First Step - Awareness and Centering
the Second Step - Gratitude.

Now you should add:

the Third Step - Prayer Desire for Grace / Prayer Desire for Grace to Know My Sin and be Free

Continue to practice your Examen a few times this week doing all three steps.

Next week will be the CENTRAL part of the Examen. It is the most involved and it is the part of the Examen that requires the most time.

Tomorrow I have a short "bonus" post on another very good edition of the Spiritual Exercises.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

The Daily Examen, Part Three: Gratitude

This is a longer reflection/essay about the place and purpose of Gratitude in the Daily Examen. I begin with a little reflection about the importance of gratitude in my life. Then I talk about gratitude in the Examen, followed with practical guidance on how to practice gratitude.

The Text: (#43)
Ignatius simply says, "The first point is to give thanks to God our Lord for the favors received."

In Spanish, the word translated "favors" is "beneficios." I am reminded of the Psalm, "Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits---" (Psalm 103:2

One of My Core Values is Gratitude:
This was not always so for me. About the time I turned 40 (13 years ago), for the first time, I developed a Core Values list. This was a great process for me. It was a time of self-discovery, out of which came a significant tool to remind me of what I most deeply valued. My Core Values became a guiding "document" for how I would live and serve.

Three years ago, I felt it was time for a revisioning of that Core Values document. Life had changed. I had changed. My ministry had changed... and it seemed appropriate to re-visit this guiding ethos and discern if change was needed in it as well. This too was a spiritually rich process. Most of the original ethos remained unchanged, but two items were dropped, two new ones were added and several of the others rewritten to better express who I was becoming.

One of the new values that was added was the Value of Gratitude.

Perhaps I added this because I knew my personality bent is "the glass is half empty." I am, using the old word from the Greeks, a melancholy by temperament. I see the pain and brokenness of our fallen world, easily. I can quickly become sad and pessimistic in the face of that brokenness.

Perhaps it was because I know my tendencies toward perfectionism. I am rarely satisfied with what I do or accomplish, always believing it can be better. So the restless energy of dissatisfaction is a frequent companion in my life.

Perhaps it was because I have similar high standards and expectations for those around me. I also value things like excellence, hard work, energetic commitment, results, fruitfulness and success. To use the good word, I am passionate about the Kingdom of God. To use the "not so good word," I can be driven about it as well. And when things are not up to my standards or expectations, I can be critical and negative.

Perhaps it is because my own dark side can deteriorate into narcissistic self-absorption with pity and complaining when things are not going my way.

Probably it is all of this and more. I certainly resonate with these words from Dostoyevsky.

If he is not stupid, he is monstrously ungrateful. Phenomenally ungrateful. In fact, I believe the best definition of man is the ungrateful biped.

(Note: I have collected several quotes about gratitude and have included them at the end of this reflection.)

So when I redid my Core Values, I was acutely aware that gratitude and thankfulness, rejoicing and celebration were not a consistent part of my daily experience. And they needed to be my daily experience. So, I uploaded Gratitude into my revised values, knowing this one was only aspirational and not actual, and that a lot of spiritual work was going to be needed for it to become actual and real.

The Daily Examen:
In the Daily Examen, gratitude has a place of prominence. The spiritual practice of the Examen is theologically rooted in a belief that God is the loving God who above all else, freely gives Himself to us along with all other good things. This idea emerges out of passages like:

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all, how will be not also along with Him, graciously give us all things? (Romans 8:32

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights... (James 1:17).

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. (Ephesians 1:3)

The reality of a Good, Generous, Gracious God, who freely and abundantly Gives -- is the theological grounding for the experience and practice of Gratitude. (Sorry, I just could not resist a little alliteration.)

To know we are deeply, unconditionally loved and blessed by such a God, and then to live with gratitude, this is not merely a supplemental idea for Ignatius, it is at the heart of the Ignatian Way and the Daily Examen.

From time to time, when I am talking about sin to a group of people, I will ask the question:

Is there a sin that is more fundamental, more foundational, more "original" than the others? Is there a sin from which the others seem to flow? This almost always generates some intense and intriguing conversation. Ignatius would offer these words as his contribution to that discussion:

Ingratitude is one of the things most worthy of detestation before our Creator and Lord... out of all the evils and sins which can be imagined. For it is a failure to recognize the good things, the graces, and the gifts received. As such, it is the cause, beginning, and origin of ALL evils and sins. (Ignatius letter to Simon Rodriguez, March 18, 1542, quoted in The Examen Prayer, page 59.)

Some Recommended Ways to Practice Gratitude in your Daily Examen:
It is time to move to some practical guidance for how to incorporate gratitude as part of your Daily Examen. These are not rules, just "helps" or "guides" for you to work with. You may come up with some of your own preferred ways of engaging in this part of the Examen.

(1) The simplest way to do this is to walk back through your day, consciously aware that all good things you had and received and experienced were the gift of God to you. As you note each one, practice gratitude, feel grateful, say thank-you.

(2) Sometimes I will focus on a particular part of a day that seems to be especially meaningful for me, and I linger on that experience and sit gratefully with it.

(3) A more advanced and challenging practice is to recall the difficulties, struggles, and even the sufferings of the day, and see even these as the occasion for gratitude. Admittedly, this is a "tricky" path to navigate, but an important one for us. It is harder for North Americans because we live in a pleasure seeking, comfort obsessed culture and it is hard for us to experience struggle and difficulty and not complain about it.

To help you think through this issue, you may want to reflect on an extreme case of suffering and the person's attitude toward it, by looking at Job's initial response to his sufferings in Job 1:20-22; 2:9-10. You may also want to look at Acts 5:40-41 where the apostles rejoiced that they were considered worthy to suffer for Christ. Plus, Henri Nouwen's little book - The Wounded Healer gives some wonderful perspective as to the nature of our sufferings.

(4) Sometimes in an Examen, I will focus on a particular issue or theme or situation, and consider it more broadly than the day's actual experience. For example, if I had a conversation with a friend and I am grateful for that conversation, I may expand my reflection to that friendship in general and be grateful in a broader sense. I may expand that to being grateful for many friends, even if I had no specific encounter with those people during the day.

The other day, in my Examen, I was very grateful for a ministry opportunity that I had. That specific experience became the stepping stone for me to reflect on a number of other recent opportunities and I felt gratitude for all of them, gratitude for being called by God, grateful for my vocation. It was very powerful. In addition, that expanded realm of gratitude launched a reflection later as I was reflecting on the leading of God and moved into a time of discernment concerning some future opportunities.

(5) There are some times when my gratitude is launched out of a reflection on a biblical theme. This fall I have been teaching the letter to the Ephesians. I had a very moving time of gratitude as I reflected on "the every spiritual blessings" I/we have received from God through Christ (Ephesians 1:3). I slowly read through the following verses (3-14) which lists some of those spiritual blessings. As I thought about each one, I practiced gratitude.

This is a very useful way to move into a time of gratitude. I will sometimes pause for gratitude when I read and reflect on a characteristic of God, or about the work of God in the world and in my life. Our reflections on Scripture should often initiate the experience of gratitude.

(6) Here is one more that is not exactly associated with the Daily Examen, but which can be done as a separate spiritual exercise. Perhaps you have heard of a Whole Life Confession. This is an exercise in which the individual "walks" through their entire history, paying attention to the sin dynamics that were at work through the years. You are specific in naming sins and sin eruptions in your life. This is for the purpose of sorrow, confession and repentance... and for moving deeper into forgiveness and freedom about your past. There is much more I could say about that practice, but this is not the place.

However, I use that same model and to a Whole Life Gratitude, which is doing the same thing, but identifying every gift, every blessing, every grace you have received through life. It is a wonderful spiritual exercise and it helps you Find God and His gifts in a sweeping survey of your life. It really gives you a new perspective and orientation about God's presence and work in your life.

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Remember, the movement of Gratitude is just one part of the Daily Examen. On most days, I make my through the entire Examen... but not always. There are times when I mainly practice this part of the Examen.

For the week ahead, I recommend that you simply practice this part of the Examen. Practice gratitude. Practice looking back through your day to discover the presence, the work and the gifts of God, and to be thankful for each one.

Next week I will talk about: Desire and Asking for what you Desire.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

Here are the quotes:

All goods look better when they look like gifts. Chesterton, Saint Francis of Assisi

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone? Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. William Arthur Ward

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but parent of all the others. Cicero

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was “thank-you,” that would suffice. Meister Eckhart, German mystic

Sometimes the most grateful pilgrim is the one whose road has been the rockiest. James Martin

If he is not stupid, he is monstrously ungrateful. Phenomenally ungrateful. In fact, I believe the best definition of man is the ungrateful biped. Dostoevsky

One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong is worth a thousand thanks when things go right. John of the Cross

Patient Trust (de Chardin, SJ)

Patient Trust

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, SJ

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.
And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability---and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually--let them grow,
Let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don't try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com

The Daily Examen, Part Two: Awareness and Centering

I exercise four or five days a week. I have pretty challenging routines of both strength training and cardiovascular exercise. A common mistake many people make is to dive right in to their training routines at the full intensity. Not only is this a mistake, it can be a costly one. For the body is not yet ready for vigorous, demanding exercise. The muscles are not loose or limber for what you are about to do to them.

Instead, you must warm up. Easy jogging causes the blood to begin to flow which warms up the muscles. Stretching helps loosen muscles that are tight. Light weights with slow moving repetitions prepare the muscles for greater demands.

How long a person needs to warm up is entirely personal, but I find that 5-10 minutes are about right for a good time of physical exercise.

I think the spiritual body needs warmed up as well. You aren't going to risk injury to your spirit by not warming up. But, without the warm up, I don't believe you will be as focused and ready for the Ignatian Workout (the title of Tim Muldoon's book, by the way.)

The spiritual warm up prepares your heart, mind and soul by helping you put aside distractions. Your attention is scattered and drawn to many things. You want to gather your attention to refocus it on God's presence. Your mind is naturally wandering (or racing) and you want to slow things down and redirect them in the way God is inviting you to walk.

Awareness and Centering is the first movement in the Daily Examen. Gallagher says, the Examen is "...profoundly relational... before all else we become aware simply of being with the God who is looking upon us."

This awareness is gained when we slow down refocus on the God who is with us and who loves us. There are several ways I use to do this.

ONE that works well for me is the slow repeating of a phrase that I use as a prayer of longing, desire, and invitation. The phrase changes, although I have a few that I use more than others. Most of them are very short and are the words of Scripture. This is not the time to be "wordy." It is a time to (1) feel your own desire for God and (2) to become conscious of the God who is with you. Too many words can be distracting.

Here are some phrases I use. I mainly use one phrase to begin an Examen. Sometimes I may use more than one, but usually, it is just one, repeated several times.

• Come Lord Jesus...
  
• My soul longs for you...
  
• I love you Lord...
  
• I seek your face O Lord...
  
• Here I am Lord...

A SECOND way is to use your imagination. Imagination was a favorite and frequent spiritual exercise that Ignatius recommended. Ignatius wanted the heart engaged with God and he knew the power of the imagination to stir the affections toward God. In this case the imagination focuses on a story or an idea from the Bible that shows relationship.

I have used imagination to recall:

• God walking with Adam and Even in the garden.
  
• Moses standing before the burning bush.
  
• David (the Psalmist King) in the quiet of the night pouring out his heart to God.
  
• Jesus inviting his disciples to come and be with him.
  
• Mary sitting listening to Jesus.
  
• Jesus walking with the disciples on the road to Emmaus.
  

The way of using any of these stories is to imagine God with the person and to sense the longing of the person and to know that God desires to be with them. And then for you to experience that same longing.

A THIRD way is to sit in silence and practice slow breathing. When I do this, I will often use the name Jesus to focus my attention on Christ. I sit in a comfortable chair with good posture. I'll have my hands resting on legs with the palms turned up in the posture of receptivity. Sometimes this is sufficient, and other times I move into the first practice I mentioned.

A FOURTH way is to have a few favorite verses from the Psalms that are about longing and desire for God,or about your need for God. Again, you don't want to be too wordy. This is not a Bible study time, nor even a lectio divina (spiritual reading) time. One or two verses read prayerfully, spoken out loud prayerfully, repeated two or three times... and always with the sense of desire.

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This "entry way" into the Examen does not take very long. If I am very distracted and my mind is racing, it may take a few moments to become quiet interiorly (in the interior of your being). If there are distractions around you, they will intrude, so be sure to practice the Examen in a setting where external distractions are at a minimum.

This entry way is like the front porch or a foyer of a house. You are not meant to stand in the entry way for long. It is just the "way in" to the house. I don't have a watch with me, but I doubt it spend more than 2 or 3 minutes in this first step. Sometimes it takes only a few seconds for my attention and awareness to connect with God.

But this entry way is valuable for getting in touch with desire and longing for God. It is useful for preparing the mind and heart for reflection. It is useful for letting go of the distractions of the day.

This week, you may want to experiment, practicing this first step into the Examen.

Brian K. Rice
Leadership ConneXtions International
www.lci.typepad.com